The Whole Mess

The limitations I have discussed led me to consider an alternative perspective. One that neither fully internalizes nor externalizes suffering. Buddhist philosophy and practice offer a way to honor the deeply personal experience of chronic pain without framing it as a problem to be fixed. Rather than positioning pain as an individual defect or a purely structural issue, Buddhism recognizes suffering as a relational and transformative process.

As Goodley (2017)¹ describes, “[a]s soon as we start thinking through the meaning, experience, treatment, and enactment of the impaired body or mind we peel away the socio-cultural layers that enwrap the phenomena and, crucially, come to know these phenomena through these layers of meaning” (p. 36). Chronic pain takes on new meaning when shifting cultural contexts (albeit often through Western-based teachers). Buddhism frames suffering not as an inevitable consequence of pain but as the mind’s resistance to pain itself. As Wolf (2021)² succinctly puts it, “Suffering = pain x resistance” (p. 17).

This perspective challenges dominant Western narratives, which frame pain as something to be eliminated rather than understood and respected. Rather than positioning pain as an internal defect or an external injustice, Buddhism offers a different interpretation that does not seek to resolve disablement but instead allows for coexistence with it. Suppose disablement is neither wholly within the body nor entirely imposed by society. In that case, it is best understood as an ongoing relationship that Buddhist teachings frame as a process of engagement rather than correction.     

Misfitting and complex embodiment can be reinterpreted through a Buddhist lens, emphasizing external adaptations and a changed internal relationship with suffering. This shift is not about eliminating pain but about loosening the grip of suffering. As Cohen (2002)³ observes, “[w]hen we take our ideas about our suffering to be some kind of static truth and fail to see that our ideas can shift and change, then we are trapped” (p. 25). Our mental projections often amplify pain into the past and future. Carrying the story of pain alongside its present experience, as Wolf (2021) describes, “is like wearing a heavy backpack all the time even when it’s not necessary” (p. 41). Buddhist practice teaches us to let go of this unnecessary burden.

While Western rehabilitation models emphasize restoring function, Buddhist teachings offer a different meaning: learning to live inside the body again. Rather than viewing disablement as something to overcome, Buddhist practice reframes it as an aspect of lived reality that does not require correction. In this way, Buddhism neither denies impairment nor externalizes disablement but instead situates it as part of an ever-changing relationship between body, mind, and environment. As Buddhist teacher Bayda (2002)⁴ explains:

“…rehabilitation is an exchange, in which you’re willing to move into the interiority of your being and work at the boundary with what is, with full awareness and compassion. If you work that edge patiently, with perseverance, motivation, and kindness, if you give yourself over to it with mindfulness, there is the very real possibility of returning home to your body and learning to live inside again.”

This view of rehabilitation fosters a reciprocal, compassionate relationship with the bodymind rather than seeking to fix it.

While Western medicine frames pain as something to be conquered, Buddhism reinterprets suffering as a teacher, removing the moral weight of ‘defeating’ pain. Cohen (2002) describes this relationship as “more like an embrace, or the bond that forms between sparring partners, than like resignation” (p. 25). Western medical discourse reinforces a binary of good (pain-free) vs. bad (in pain), mirroring how disability is often framed as inherently tragic (Patsavas, 2014, p. 6)⁵.

This pity-based narrative strips disabled and chronically pained people of agency (Selznick, 2017, p. 44⁶; Kafer, 2013, p. 3⁷). The ableist assumption that a future with pain is inherently bleak shapes both medical and social responses to disability (Kafer, 2013). Buddhist practice challenges this suffering-focused narrative, shifting from futile striving toward a cure to accepting pain as part of lived reality. Bernhard (2015)⁸ writes, “Even as we continue to look for ways to improve our health, the only path to peace is to give up the painful, impulsive striving to reach that goal” (p. 329).

That said, Buddhism also does not deny the desire for healing. As Patsavas (2014) writes, “[t]o be clear, I would not necessarily turn down medical advances that alleviate or eliminate my chronic pain, but the uncomplicated quest for a medical cure makes curing pain not only desirable but also compulsory” (p. 208). Buddhism also walks this delicate line by remaining open to treatment without making relief a prerequisite for a meaningful life.

Unlike Western frameworks that view suffering as inherently negative, Buddhism categorizes all experiences, including pain, as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, without moral weight. Mindfulness teaches presence with pain rather than reacting impulsively to suppress or eliminate it (Kabat-Zinn, 2005, p. 343)⁹. As Kabat-Zinn also says, “[b]eing told that you have to learn to live with pain should not be the end of the road—it should be the beginning” (p. 321). This perspective challenges dominant cultural assumptions that suffering must always be eradicated rather than understood.

Wendell (1996)¹⁰ explains that Western culture tends to equate suffering with tragedy, positioning disability as something to be overcome rather than as a legitimate way of being (p. 36-7). This reinforces the idea that pain must always be negative rather than understood as a source of knowledge or transformation. Buddhism, in contrast, challenges these assumptions by viewing suffering not as something to be erased but as a path toward wisdom and deeper self-awareness. Pain is not just suffering. It can also be a site of creativity (Cohen, 2002, p. 28), deep awareness, interdependence, and connection (Selznick, 2017, p. 5). Pain can also reveal the wisdom in simply being, reminding us that existence itself is inherently valuable (Cohen, 2002, p. 29). Reframing pain as a source of embodied knowledge moves beyond the medicalized narrative of tragedy. Recognizing pain as a valid experience allows for insights that non-disabled people might not have. Disabled activists have long reframed their identities as sources of wisdom rather than tragedy (Kafer, 2013, p. 22; Garland-Thomson, 2011, p. 601¹¹).

As Thich Nhat Hanh teaches, without the mud, there would be no lotus. Without embodied knowledge of suffering, those of us who live with chronic pain would not have the same access to the insights it provides. Wolf (2021) explains that “just like a lotus can only grow out of the thick compost of what we call dirt or mud, in the same way the compost of broken ideas, dreams, and pain itself can tenderize and transform a heart and mind into unexpected beauty and authenticity” (p. 180). Out of pain grows compassion, grounding us in the truth of each moment.

Living with chronic pain forces a shift in awareness, moving from abstract intellectualism to a deeper relationship with the bodymind. Cohen (2002) reflects, “[b]efore becoming so ill, I had trouble interrupting my discursive mind to make the observations necessary to begin a mindfulness practice” (p. 31). This heightened attunement to the bodymind allows for better self-care and boundary-setting. Pain also fosters deep compassion for others’ suffering. Buddhist practice encourages a collective awakening, not just personal relief. What we do for ourselves becomes what we do for others (Cohen, 2002, p. 27). Through interdependence, broader healing becomes possible.

Many Buddhist teachings offer insight into how to face chronic pain with acceptance and even love. The Buddha’s first teaching frames suffering as an inevitable part of life and provides a path to alleviating it. The Four Noble Truths are often described in medical terms, with the Buddha as a healer: (1) recognizing the ailment (there is suffering), (2) providing a diagnosis (suffering has a cause), (3) declaring a prognosis (suffering can end), and (4) offering a path to healing (the Eightfold Path, a series of Buddhist tenets).

This aligns with chronic pain experiences. While pain may be unavoidable, suffering can be reduced by changing one’s relationship with it. The parable of two arrows describes how experiencing pain (the first arrow) is unavoidable, but our emotional response (the second arrow) is optional (Sallatha Sutta: The Arrow, translation 2013)¹². Mindfulness and meditation create space between sensation and reaction, allowing us to separate physical pain from emotional suffering. Rather than trying to escape pain, these practices allow for a direct, embodied relationship with it.

Buddhism reframes pain not as a mistake but as an inevitable part of life, much like aging or illness. Instead of treating pain as an enemy, mindfulness encourages a shift in perspective that fosters curiosity rather than avoidance. Moving from rejection to acceptance does not mean resignation but rather an engagement with reality as it is. This shift can paradoxically lead to transformation, as resistance often amplifies suffering.

However, acceptance is rarely easy. Pain can be overwhelming, and mindfulness alone is not always enough to override it. Nevertheless, even in moments of intense suffering, compassion can remain present. Self-compassion counters the internalized ableism of self-judgment, offering a way to coexist with pain without viewing it as something that must be conquered or erased. Compassion acknowledges suffering without demanding it disappear. Compassion recognizes that neither the pain nor the individual is a problem to be fixed but instead companions on our journey to new ways of knowing.

While Western psychology has begun validating some of these ideas (Landmark et al., 2024¹³; White et al., 2024¹⁴), Buddhist philosophy has long provided a framework for understanding suffering in ways that challenge dominant medical and social narratives. Rather than seeking external validation, Buddhist teachings honor the lived experience of pain without requiring it to be ‘fixed’ or ‘cured.’

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Series so far:
Intro
Positionality
A Personal Case Study in Disablement
Tensions With the Medical Model
Struggling With the Social Model
Misfitting and Complex Embodiment

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3. Cohen, D. (2002). Turning suffering inside out: A zen approach for living with physical and emotional pain. Shambhala. ↩︎
4. Bayda, E., Kabat-Zinn, J., Cohen, D., & Harrison, G. (2002). Pain without suffering. Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, Winter 2002. https://tricycle.org/magazine/pain-without-suffering/ ↩︎
5. Patsavas, A. (2014). Recovering a cripistemology of pain: Leaky bodies, connective tissue, and feeling discourse. Journal of Literary & Cultural Disability Studies, 8(2), 203–218. https://doi.org/10.3828/jlcds.2014.16 ↩︎
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11. Garland-Thomson, R. (2011). Misfits: A feminist materialist disability concept. Hypatia, 26(3), 591–609. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1527-2001.2011.01206.x ↩︎
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14. White, K. M., Zale, E. L., Lape, E. C., & Ditre, J. W. (2024). The association between chronic pain acceptance and pain-related disability: A meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10880-024-10061-1 ↩︎