The Whole Mess
Notes from the middle of everything
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about
Collector of contradictions, student of imperfection, and occasional meditator. Writing from the messy middle with equal parts honesty and humor.
Category: buddhism
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I’ve often struggled with meditation because it triggers my post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If I close my eyes, I tend to go into flashbacks. Opening my eyes doesn’t seem to be much better because I become too distracted by everything around me. I don’t like guided meditations. My physical impairments make it nearly impossible to…
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The limitations I have discussed led me to consider an alternative perspective. One that neither fully internalizes nor externalizes suffering. Buddhist philosophy and practice offer a way to honor the deeply personal experience of chronic pain without framing it as a problem to be fixed. Rather than positioning pain as an individual defect or a…
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Liz Moore (they/them) is a white, disabled, queer, nonbinary, and neurodivergent individual whose essay in the book Disability Visibility (2020) focuses on their long journey from active hopes and endless searches for a cure to acceptance of their impairments, most notably chronic pain. Moore begins their essay “I’m Tired of Chasing a Cure” by reflecting…
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I recently paid for my dead body to be turned into mulch when I die. It’s called human composting, and I’m weirdly excited about it. I also didn’t realize how much stress I was carrying, not knowing what I would be leaving behind for my heirs to deal with while also grieving. I (hopefully) still…