I often think about the intersections1 between disability, gender, sexual orientation, race, and the million other intersections that we live with. I was recently reminded of a personal experience during a medical appointment that left me speechless.
I had recently been paired up with my service dog and was at a routine medical appointment. The doctor asked me if my husband approved of me having a service dog. I was so flabbergasted that I wasn’t even sure how to respond. There are several layers here involving ableism, assumptions of heterosexuality, and sexism all rolled into one sentence.
Firstly, I’m single and queer, and to assume I am straight (let alone married) was thoroughly confusing to me. I didn’t make any effort to hide my sexual orientation, and this was a gynecologist who theoretically knew my sex history. The homophobic assumption of compulsory heterosexuality2 came to mind.
Secondly, my service dog is essentially a form of medical equipment. To question my need for medical equipment is ableist af.
Thirdly, the assumption that I would need permission or approval from a man, let alone a husband, to have said medical equipment is mind-boggling and several decades stale.
In one sentence, she managed to insult the intersections between my sexual orientation, gender, and disability. I’d be impressed if I weren’t so infuriated.
- The term and concept of intersectionality was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, an American civil rights advocate and a scholar of critical race theory, working out of UCLA and Columbia Law School. ↩︎
- Rich, A.C. (1980). Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence. Signs: Journal of Women in Culture and Society, 5, 631 – 660. ↩︎
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